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The Sketchiest Hotel I’ve Stayed In

February 8, 2016

Being a budget-minded traveler, I am slightly more limited with accommodation choices compared to the average Joe. I never plan to spend much time in the hotel room, so it doesn’t need to be fancy or have exquisite amenities. My biggest concerns are Price, Safety, and Cleanliness.

Now, sometimes my price limit means I end up in a real sketchy hotel.

This is the story of that hotel.


I felt totally awesome booking it. The location was a perfect distance away from downtown St. Louis. The price was just right, and none of the reviews raised any red flags.

As the sun began to set on day 2 of our road trip, my brother and I drove down the street that housed our hotel. We each searched the sides of the road for some sign or hotel-looking structure. A small and white sign pointed the way to our hotel, around a patchily paved stretch of road. We followed and ended up in a small parking lot, surrounded by a one story stretch of building that was our resting place for the next two nights. I had my brother stay in the car while I checked in at the front desk.

Now, when I say “front desk”, I need you to picture this:

Enter a small, dimly lit, bathroom-sized room. There is a half wall in front of you that extends the length of room, with bullet-proof glass from the top of the wall to the ceiling. There is a half-circle cut out of the bottom about the size of a grapefruit. The glass is plastered with handwritten notifications for the guests. One in particular catches my eye, advising that the rooms are not to be used for prostitution and that all they will call the cops on all prostitutes that use their rooms. Behind the glass is a lock box for room keys and a mini fridge.

“Hello?” I called out. A young woman came from a side room and smiled at me. “You are checking in?”

I answered yes and handed over my driver’s license and credit card. I could hear a tv somewhere in the back, but I was unable to make out what was playing. I signed something agreeing that I’d abide by quiet hours, that I wasn’t a prostitute, and that I was liable for anything stolen from my car. The woman grabbed two water bottles out of the mini-fridge and squeezed them through the hole in the glass.

I thanked the woman and walked back to my car, nervously laughing to myself.

My brother and I got our things from the car and found our room. I put the key in the door and pushed it open. My eyes just about came out of my head and I immediately started laughing uncontrollably.

The first thing that knocked me off my feet were the walls.

 

IMG_0707.JPG

 

The cement bricks. The green.  The electrical outlets a foot from the ceiling. The blue paint framing the…tv? dresser thing?

The headboard of the bed even got some nice blue framework:

 

IMG_0706.JPG

Notice the matching bed comforter.

 

Once we got over the initial hilarity of our room decor, we had to check out the state of the bathroom. I was kind of hoping it would be bright yellow with maybe some purple polka dots?

 

IMG_0704.JPG

 

Nah, it was pretty drab. Except for… oh wait…the door handle was missing!

 

IMG_0708

 

And that’s not all folks. The door didn’t fit in the frame. This is how we kept the door closed:

 

IMG_0709.JPG

Classy stuff right there

All in all, we got what we paid for.

Okay, maybe a bathroom door handle should have been included in the price. Or at least offered for a small fee?

Aside from being 89% sure that snakes were going to come out of the drain while I was showering, the room was not all that bad. Nobody tried to break in and rob us. Nobody got attacked by cockroaches or bedbugs. And we were still only a 5 minute drive from the St. Louis Gateway Arch!

So yes, the hotel was sketchy and quite tacky, but I’m sure there are worse out there.

***

What is the sketchiest place you’ve stayed in? Share below!

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22 Comments


Kari
February 8, 2016 at 2:10 am
Reply

There is no possible way I could’ve stayed there. No way. lol



livebysurprise
February 8, 2016 at 2:24 am
Reply

Yikes. I met a friend at a no tell motel once. It was during the World Cup soccer – and there were a few husbands there watching the game away from the women folk. It was…interesting. The walls were very thin.



cavilleta
February 8, 2016 at 2:24 am
Reply

Well, that was an experience. It is like the setting of a Paranormal Activity-esque movie or a Scream-esque one. Glad you cane out alive ehehe.



    Brianna
    February 8, 2016 at 2:26 am
    Reply

    Hahah! I never really felt afraid. It was mostly funny. But I guess that’s also my personality…

Ginger Smith
February 8, 2016 at 7:03 am
Reply

Lmao. The picture of the door without a handle made me laugh so much. I’m glad that you all were safe, but that hotel sounds and looks a little too sketchy for me.



Simply Manon (@SimplyManon)
February 8, 2016 at 9:33 am
Reply

hahahah well that was an experience. Lesson learned, you get what you pay when traveling hahah.



Crazy travelista (@Crazytravelista)
February 8, 2016 at 10:47 am
Reply

Omg they shouldn’t be allowed to rent such a place!! But at least there were not rats running around or anything 🙂



Classy On The Run
February 8, 2016 at 6:38 pm
Reply

Oh wow! I thought my hostel in Dublin was bad! But this is something else.



Vicky
February 8, 2016 at 6:44 pm
Reply

oh my goodness! Okay, that makes my worst hotel look like a 5 star resort.



The Walking Map
February 8, 2016 at 11:43 pm
Reply

Looks like something you would see on an episode of Globe Trekker



idaklife
February 8, 2016 at 11:43 pm
Reply

Great post, thank you. I have stayed is hotels like this and they make you question for sure.



Kim Gorman
February 9, 2016 at 12:51 am
Reply

Looks like a dorm room. Gross!



Victoria
February 9, 2016 at 1:23 am
Reply

The green wall is quite something 😀 Glad the story ended up well !



Shobha George
February 9, 2016 at 2:11 am
Reply

Wow! I’d have a hard time finding humor in that! 🙂



Carmen
February 9, 2016 at 3:15 am
Reply

Oh my goodness, I was shaking my head at my screen when I got to the part where the doorknob was missing! You’re a brave soul to have stayed there.



thoughtfeeder
February 9, 2016 at 2:35 pm
Reply

The door knob was missing? Lol ! was that someone peeking from the inside or out?



Because... I'm cheap
February 9, 2016 at 3:56 pm
Reply

Oh man, I am so cheap. Seriously. So I feel your pain.. I would’ve laughed too though.



Vedante | The Lavish Nomad
February 9, 2016 at 6:07 pm
Reply

The missing doorknob had me hahaha! I want to listen to the management’s response regarding the missing doorknob. Would they even try to ACT like it surprised them? 😛



    Brianna
    February 9, 2016 at 6:15 pm
    Reply

    Haha! That’s a good question

Cynthia
February 10, 2016 at 12:50 pm
Reply

That place looks a lot like the motels my family and I would stay at on our road trips across Canada haha! Except I don’t think we ever had a missing door knob problem for the bathroom!



Cato Traveller
April 3, 2019 at 10:37 am
Reply

I can swear this looks like a hotel I stayed in Surat Thani, Thailand a few years ago. Me and my friends were also left unimpressed with the conditions but after having travelled 14 hours through the jungle with no sleep or food the place looked like heaven! haha



    Brianna
    April 3, 2019 at 1:10 pm
    Reply

    Haha! Gotta have a few weird hostel stays to make the others feel so much nicer!!

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  • I’m Brianna and I’m possibly the funniest person I know. I’m a total goofball who loves to travel. I fell in love with the world in 2007, when my family and I moved to Sydney, Australia. Since then, I’ve been on a mission to see the world. I'm an ordinary adventurer here to show you how the average person can travel the world.

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